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rosario castellanos in the sheets


sometimes i like to darken my dreams
by reading shadowy things before bed.

sometimes i hope spirits find me
while i sleep and wake me up
so i remember i’m alive.

sometimes i cannot hold
all the poems that live inside me
and they push against my skin
trying to come out and
i keep them in because
i cannot handle them being
words on a paper and
living as material things
in the world where i breathe.

sometimes i’m afraid to write
because i scare myself.

sometimes i kill those parts
i know others love because
the one who matters most
has not been born.

sometimes someone dies and
it’s someone i liked or
even loved and that line plays
in my head—what to do at death?
over and over, and i break.

sometimes i’m sure i’m crazy
and any good shrink would think
i should be on a cocktail of pills—
and i smile, thrilled at the idea
of being a rebel.

sometimes i’m tired of smiling.

This entry was posted in: poetry

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