poetry
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The Killer Inside Me

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I like to think God is merciful and kind and
I like to think He would turn the other cheek.
I need to believe if He were me and weak
From this chemical storm in the brain
If He did the same thing I did and
Left Her in the street that
He would be forgiven
By a merciful and kind God.

She was just so pretty.
She looked so soft.

In high school I read this book
Of Mice and Men and
It made me afraid way back then
In all those close parts with Lennie–
I didn’t wanna be like him.

I’m not like him I’m not–
I’m not some retard
Don’t know the difference
Tween right and wrong don’t know
When somebody’s talkin bout me
Like I’m just air for breathin
There for your entertainment
The butt of all your jokes–

No– I’m smart.
I finished school.
Made Mama real proud–
Took all my medicine and
Wasn’t all loud when we went out anymore
Didn’t get so quiet she’d get that look
In her eye like she wanted to cry
But was scared–
I was doin so good.

But She was just so pretty.
She looked so soft.

How did She know
My favorite color is purple?

*This poem refers to recent murder in Saginaw, TX.

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